Passive Agressive

We serve a peaceful God. 

He is a being of love, passion, and most importantly, grace and compassion.  God's greatest endearing quality is that He loves us.  He is the only God that comes after us; all other religions are predicated on appeasing and placating an angry deity.  I have recently been struck by the realization of just how insane Christianity is...it's illogical, unreasonable, and absolutely fantastic.  What other God would willingly give of Himself--His blood, His Spirit, His life--so that unworthy beings such as myself could spend eternity in the heavens He created?!  The biggest death in Christianity is God's own Son! God is a god of peace.

And that's what makes the end of the battle so incredible. As Paul tells us in Romans 16:20, "The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet."

The gravity of this quote is crushing.  First, the extreme contrast between the God of peace and the act of crushing someone.  God doesn't show wrath towards us, those who truly deserve it...He has pent up rage and He's going to unleash it all on Satan.

The second part, and the most breathtaking, is that Satan will be crushed under OUR FEET.  God is going to let us participate in the ultimate annihilation of our biggest enemy!  We will have an entire lifetime of blessings, chaos, life, death, pain, and joy as God and Satan fight each other over our souls, and yet we KNOW the battle is over, and Satan will be crushed.

"With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies."  Psalm 60:12

Microscope

Part of the weird thing about loving science is that occasionally you slip into geek mode and become fascinated by something completely arbitrary.  For instance, about once a month I'll stare at my hand while I wiggle my fingers because I can imagine the muscles, tendons, bones, vessels, and connective tissue working together to make something that seems so effortless happen.  Then I move along to the nervous system and how freaky it is that an impulse takes such a miniscule period of time to make the finest of movements occur.  And if its an especially good zone-out, then I'll begin to imagine cells and pores (and yes, as I'm typing I'm staring at my hands and feeling especially existential) and how amazing it is that a seemingly infinite number of cells comprises such a disturbingly large man.

Other times, I'll be driving (usually through the vast emptiness that is the I-20 corridor) and realize that the disturbingly large man is actually a small speck in the car, which is a small speck on the road, which makes me just like everyone else and leads to me feeling very, very tiny (which is a nice feeling, I have to admit) and vulnerable (not so nice).

Through it all though, the moments of self-realization and hippie freak-outs, there is one constant that comforts me: all of this, the cells, the cars, the roads, everything is created by a very loving and compassionate God. I was created for a purpose, no matter how small I appear or how much of an experiment I can feel like.

Donald Miller, in A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, puts it this way: "I like the part of the Bible that talks about God speaking the world into existence, as though everything we see and feel were sentences from his mouth, all the wet of the world his spit.  I feel written.  My skin feels written, and my desires feel written. My sexuality was a word spoken by God, that I would be male, and I would have brown hair and brown eyes and come from a womb. It feels literary, doesn't it, as if we are characters in books." (86)

It's nice to feel small...to feel created.  Just as infants require care and protection because they are defenseless, the idea of being created by someone lets me know that someone is looking out for me.  God put a lot of effort and skill into forming my body, and He puts just as much effort into protecting me and helping me through this world that has rejected Him.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; you works are wonderful, I know that full well."  Psalm 139:13-14

Update

I have a smoldering fire in my soul to do...something. Pray that God hits the ignition switch and that He speaks and acts through me, whenever and wherever that opportunity may appear.

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. SEND ME." Isaiah 6:8

Perception

A short preface: When we left Houston yesterday, it was 74 degrees and painfully muggy...to the point where loading presents into the car left me glistening with what I assume was sweat, but it felt more like funk from the air settling on to my body. Needless to say, escaping Houston was the best gift of all this holiday.

When I woke up this morning, Abby looked out the window and exclaimed excitedly: "It's snowing!" And sure enough, there is a howling, wet, cold, snowy mess congregating in the great city of Abilene. Cars, houses, roads, and people who stand still for too long end up covered in the white stuff, giving A-Town an ethereal look to compliment my first Christmas Eve as a married dude.

The funny thing is, I would go outside and walk around in this and revel in the goodness all morning. Coats and hats are beautiful things. My wife, and the rest of my family, would rather sit inside and watch it through the windows, almost like a zoo where it's fun to look but not touch. The snow is an inviting, beautiful gift from God to me, and a wet nuisance to everyone else. It's all in the perception.

So imagine you are a member of the 1st century Jewish elite (I know, not a hard stretch is it?) and you're waiting for a sign from God, ANY SIGN, that His promised Messiah is coming. You start to hear reports of a child being born, angels visiting, and strange cosmic harbingers that maybe, just maybe, will signal the end of the suffering and oppression. And then, you finally make it to Jerusalem and find this child...and he is a poor child born in a barn to an unwed mother who supposedly is a "virgin." You may be a Jewish priest and not a physician, but you know thats unlikely at best.

You would be crushed! This isn't a king, a warrior, a Savior! This is a weak, poverty stricken child whose father is a carpenter! And then later on, he becomes a carpenter, meaning he took up his family's trade and probably passed on being a true rabbi, which at the very least should be a necessary step in leading the Jews to salvation. This is a waste of time and a waste of hope...another year gone without help from a supposedly caring God.

On the flip side, imagine you are a poor Jewish person, or even later on, a Gentile believer, who has been excluded from society and never given an inch of anything in your life. You are under the regime of a tyrannical king who would just as soon kill you than actually fix your problems. You've been told there is a Savior, a new King, who has come to save EVERYONE. He specifically mentions the poor, the meek, and goes out of His way to love those who may have never felt love. This is a ruler, with power and authority, who gives His life in order that everyone may spend eternity with Him. This is an amazing gift, and a sign that God truly cares about us all!

Jesus' life is all about perception. Those who had a set idea of what a Messiah was "supposed" to be were disappointed and gave up. Those who saw the gentle carpenter for what He was--the embodiment of love and peace--had abundant life.

So when you see Christmas, and specifically see Christ in other people, do you see a nuisance, or do you see love? What is your perception of Christ and His sacrifice?

"Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me." Luke 7:22-23

Flat-Lined

For a long time, whenever I discussed art history I basically skipped from the earliest known records (like the Venus of Willendorf...woof.) right past the Middle Ages and straight to the Renaissance. The Renaissance harnessed the Classical power of the human form noted in amazing Greek and Roman sculpture with a new-found respect and love of color: vibrant, rich, passionate hues that give life to those lucky enough to be captured by them. From then on, it was always Renaissance, Baroque, Romantics, Impressionists, etc., etc., until the Fauvists and Modernists made me aesthetically unhappy.

Upon further reflection, however, the art of the Middle Ages possesses more than I ever wanted to give it credit for revealing. There is something to be said for the passion and love of showing a rudimentary, yet loving, Christ. The Middle Ages produced art that was flat, fairly monotone in color, and completely lacking of dazzling depth or style. Even the composition was a bit stunted. And yes, it's 2-D, something James Cameron would surely scoff at and mock. Yes, the colors leave something (or everything) to be desired. But in those simplistic drawings and paintings, there is love. There is the pain of a Savior in anguish, compassion of a Lord who loves the unloveable. I'm not sure Jesus would be comfortable with his powerful radiance in Raphael's Ascension or even being the center of attention in The Last Supper.

There's something to be said about a King who preferred peasants over worldly royalty, who picked poverty over wealth, who chose death over what the world sees as power. I think the various artists of the Middle Ages got that message--Christ was someone who preferred to be in the background, loving, serving, and giving. His message wasn't contained in the show, the color, or the presentation, but in the emotion and devotion behind the scenes. I think He would have been drawn to the flat, colorless, almost cartoonish pieces of art because they came from the heart.

In the same way, we need to get back to the heart of the matter in our service of God. Whether songs like Heart of Worship or the story of the Pharisees in Luke 11:

"Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone.

"Woe to you Pharisees, because you love the most important seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces.

Jesus is calling the Pharisees out because they care more about the show than the action; more about appearances than the heart. We have that problem today, the same problem I suffer in Art History: we care more about the outside than the inside, more about the pretty colors than the meaning. Jesus rages against that machine more than once, but its a message we let slip through our fingers all the time.

So here's to a flat, bland, disproportionate Savior, willing to do the dirty work and die so that I might live a deep, colorful, full life in His service. Amen!

"I hate, I despise your religious feasts;
I cannot stand your assemblies.

Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them.
Though you bring choice fellowship offerings,
I will have no regard for them.

Away with the noise of your songs!
I will not listen to the music of your harps.

But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!" Amos 5:21-24

Giving Thanks

My first holiday as a husband has been much more...entertaining?...than normal. For the entire week I haven't slept in the same bed two nights in a row, have gone from Houston to Canton to Plano back to Canton and then back to Houston, and worked much more than I wanted to, both on my school and my job. However, even with the chaos, I wouldn't trade it for anything. More responsibility means more stress, but it also means more things to be thankful for. So, in no particular order, here are my things for which I am thankful:

*My God...for loving me even when I'm not worthy.

*My wife...for the same reason.

*My family...both the new members and the old. You all make life exceptionally better!

*My job...being able to provide for all of the above.

*My friends...for being able to talk about football and life from hundreds of miles away.

*Everything else that I either don't feel like listing out or have forgotten.

So for everything...thanks.

"Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name." 1 Chronicles 29:13

What if...

The weird thing about going through the Bible verse by verse, in an academic sense, is that the little idiosyncrasies stick out like sore thumbs. Verses that we usually skim over, because they don't make sense or don't seem to add much to the story become flashing bright lights. Stories that are obviously connected flow together like a river of God's love for us instead of the little water bottles of refreshment we usually get.

Just the other day we read the story of Aaron's staff budding. We usually use that pericope to talk about how God chooses us and stands behind us and blah blah blah...all great points, but missing a little bit of what God is getting at. Right before that story, Korah, Dathan and Abiram rebel against Moses and, to make a long story short, are disposed of in creative ways. The big three are swallowed up by the earth, which then promptly closes back over them, effectively burying them alive. Their council of 250 elders is burned up by the fire of the Lord, and everyone who complains because this happened is hit with a plague. So we have earthquakes, fire from heaven, and plagues, and nothing seems to phase the Israelites. They still complain just as much as before, are still indignant, and generally don't change demeanor at all.

Aaron's staff buds because God is trying to silence the complaining and bickering. In fact, He says the reason this happens is to prevent the Israelites from dying. They've pushed Him so far that He's about to snap and He wants to control His anger. The weird thing is...THIS is the instance that causes the Israelites to go bonkers! Almonds growing out of a piece of dead wood! Giant chasms in the earth, fire raining down from heaven, killer plagues...meh. Almonds? RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

I can't get over the pathetic nature of the Israelites. Every story we read, the farther we delve into the story of the Israelites, the more and more depressed I get reading about their ignorance. I can't fathom how stupid they must have been to see the miracles and love of God with their own eyes--miracles and wonders we can't even imagine--and still want to walk away.

Oh wait. Yes I can.

My freshman year of college I went with some friends and my family to see !Hero the Rock Opera, a modern day telling of the birth of Christ. Set in Bethlehem, PA instead of Israel, it shows exactly how our world would react to a modern-day Savior. We'd build him up using the media, then tear him down and dispose of him. On the way home, we talked about how we would respond if we were there...simple question: Would we believe? Sadly, the consensus answer was no.

I think the reason the Israelites irritate me so is because I know how they feel. I see God everyday, whether in large miracles or small whispers, and yet there are times everyday that I turn against Him. That I stop listening to Him. That I let myself get in the way of His plan...that I get freaked out by almonds.

I have got to stop letting the world get in the way of my relationship with God. He throws earthquakes, fire, and pestilence at me, but I still ask questions and fight Him. And when my faith is weak, something small and innocuous (like almonds!) can drop me to the turf. Good thing I don't have to ask "What if..." I know God is alive and His Son died for me.

That's refreshing enough for me.

"This is the confidence that we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." 1 John 5:14